Most of us have no idea what we want, many of us don’t even know what we don’t want.
We then wonder why we are not happy; we then wonder why we are unfulfilled; we then wonder why we can’t get to where we want to go.
How can we honestly expect to achieve our goals and create our dreams if we haven’t defined our destination?
We wouldn’t do this in business, we wouldn’t do this with a personal trainer, it would be a waste of time and maybe even get someone fired.
But, for some reason, when it comes to our happiness and dreams, we think the rules are different.
They are not.
The same rules that apply to success in business, in our health and in our lives apply to working with ourselves; Define the objective, understand the present, create a plan to succeed and execute. *If need be, change the objective, the plan or the approach.
In order to succeed (at anything) we must define what success looks like.
To not do so is foolish, as we may have already achieved our desire if we had only taken a moment to define it. How sad would it be to actually be happy, but have never realized it because you never defined what it looked or felt like?
Most people just think they are unhappy. Happiness and success our mental constructs, build them how you choose appropriate in the present moment.
Why do we avoid defining our dreams and making them clear? Because, we don’t really want to achieve them.
It’s the classic tale of the “under-achiever” who “could” have done better, but they “knew” they wouldn’t, so never really tried. We all do it, it’s just part of being human.
But we do not have to continue operating as so.
What are we really avoiding is the question? Success, failure, what others think, happiness, worthiness and love are some of the deeper experiences we avoid. Achieving them means are lives will be different.
Achieving them means we actually have control over our realities, that’s a scary statement for some of you. And that’s ok.
But you do not have to continue operating as so.
There’s a formula to finding happiness and success, and it starts with self-worth.
You’re perfect. You’re good enough. You’re exactly where you are supposed to be.
You may not believe this (yet), but you will, if you choose to start believing it. It’s really that simple. Start now, like right now.
Most of us aren’t willing to define our desires and even less of us go after them because we don’t believe we are worthy. We don’t believe we are good enough. There’s no denying this.
If someone believes they deserve something or are good enough to do something, they go for it. This doesn’t mean they do so without fear, but nonetheless, they do it.
If someone doesn’t believe they deserve something or aren’t good enough to do something, they tend to not go for it.
Instead, they tend to make excuses, avoid action or play the victim. Run whatever desire you have that you haven’t achieved yet though your mind and ask yourself why you haven’t done it yet.
You found one of the above mentioned “reasons” didn’t you?
All good, unless you’re tired of not having what you want. All good, unless the payoff from not getting what you want is no longer working for you.
If you don’t have what you want, there is a reason. It’s most likely linked to self-worth or better said, a lack thereof.
If you are ready to start creating happiness and success, you need to start to believe you deserve it. You need to start to truly embrace the fact that you are good enough, that you are worthy.
If you’re reading this and don’t believe you are good enough exactly as you are in this moment, please stop reading and do the following;
30 Day Practice
Do this for 30-days straight. If you miss a day, go back to day 1 and start again. Continue this practice until you practice for 30-days in a row. You’re worth it.
One of the highest habits that we can develop is self-love, as it leads us directly to self-worth. As we hone this habit, all former habits surrender their service because love outperforms all.
Start by viewing self-love as your top job and top priority. When you love yourself, then you will be happy, happy from within.
Happiness from within comes from loving who you are. Loving who you are comes from believing you are worthy.
To practice self-love, incorporate the mantra below into your daily routine. Close your eyes, connect with your heart and repeat the mantra. Experience it, embrace it and embody it.
“I love myself.”
Do this for 5-minutes every day before you leave your house. Feel it, believe it.
Once you’ve completed this practice for 30-days in a row, move on to the next steps in creating happiness and success.
The “Sweet Spot”
Now that you feel “good enough” or at the very least are starting to believe this, you’re ready to create one of the secret keys to the intersection of happiness and success: The “Sweet Spot”
This secret tool is the center point of three converging roads: Defining your happiness and success starts now.
- What you like to do,
- What you are good at.
- What you can make money doing.
We spend so much time at work away from doing the things that we truly love, and it is wearing on us as a society. The WHO just recently declared “Burn-out” to be a medical condition. If this isn’t proof that we’re not happy and finding success, then we don’t know what is.
If you want to set yourself up for happiness and success, you better be doing what you love more often than not. Spending countless hours looking at the clock and waiting for the weekend to come around isn’t going to get the job done.
We know, we’ve been there too.
What do you like to do?
Make a list of everything you like to do and everything that brings you joy and happiness. They may be big, they may be small, it doesn’t matter. Just get your thoughts down on a piece of paper and start to see the things that “fill you up”.
These do not need to be work related, but you may find they are as well. Start big and broad.
What are you good at?
Make a list of everything you are good at and everything that makes you feel accomplished. Again, start big and wide, Look for themes or patterns. Look and the look some more.
What do you notice? What do you see?
What can you get paid to do?
What are all the ways and jobs you can currently do to make money? Make a list of all the different options and ways you can think of. Get really big on this one, the bigger and more creative the better.
Again, look for patterns and themes. Look for jobs and ways of making money that are complimentary and synergistic.
Put it all together
Now that you have the 4-variables to creating happiness and success; self-worth, knowing what you are good at, knowing what you like to do and knowing how you can make money, what is your end result?
What is your unique intersection or “Sweet spot”? It will be uniquely yours, one of a kind.
Now, this may not be what you expected; it may not even be a job title. What you might find is that you need to go and create this title or role, or that you already have access to your “sweet spot” in your current role.
Let’s say for example that you like listening to people, you are good at giving advice, and you are currently managing 10 employees.
Then according to the “sweet-spot” you’re already there. Now that you’ve defined it and can see it, work can be so much better because it now has purpose and depth. Start showing up to work with your intersection in mind.
Let is guide your interactions and way of being. You will find more happiness, success and joy as a result. It will be a win/win for everyone involved.
You’ll find that the role itself is rather insignificant once you know what you’re good at and what you like to do. You can plug most of this into any “roll”.
Start to do more of what you like and more of what you are good at more often than not. Burnout comes from not doing the things you love and from feeling a lack of purpose and connection to one’s work or path.
Finding the “Sweet spot” will significantly help prevent burnout and it will make you want to jump out of bed in the morning rather than feeling like you need to be dragged out.
If you are having a hard time defining your intersection or having a hard time believing you are worthy, we are here for you.
Our job is to help you get to where you want to be faster and we’re here to help when you are ready.
Dedicated to your growth,
Nick + Justin
When you are ready, book a 15-minute “Discovery Session” HERE, let’s find your “Sweet spot” and start creating it today.
Nick Palladino-King teaches students and clients how to reduce stress, to increase happiness and to elevate health through yoga, wellness coaching and strength training.